Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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