FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
