walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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