STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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