dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
