so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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