But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
