I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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