if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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