Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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