I'm going to jail i love you
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
