Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i believe in u and ur pee
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
