eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
