WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
