oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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