I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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