So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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