We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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