Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
