My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
