I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
