My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
