marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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