Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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