Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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