so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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