I'm really into asian looking animals
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
