just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
