And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
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