I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
