hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Randomize
