Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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