May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
