Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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