He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
