I'm going to jail i love you
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
pray to the hookup gods
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
