i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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