it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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