My room smells like vodka and shame
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
