google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I think people are normalizing furries
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
