Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
we're so committed to being not committed
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
