Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
