the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
