he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
tell me about the fingering
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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