I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
