Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
