I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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