I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
