Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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