Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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