I just saw a hot homeless man
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
tell me about the fingering
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