is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
