so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
