did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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