I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
