A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
