All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
