I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
