What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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