She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
