I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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