Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
